Wednesday, March 7, 2012

School Overwhelms Me to no end...

I wrote something similar to this for my speech class, and I decided to post something on here as well. Keep in mind this is an added on to outline from my speech class....not the best post! Suicide is soemthing that touched close to home to me for many reasons. 


According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, 

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among those 15-24 years old.

You shouldn't die this young, and no one, should every feel the need to take their own life.
I always swore to myself growing up that I would never become just another negative statistic.

Imagine This.
You wake up disoriented. You can’t see much. There are spiders everywhere and your arms and legs are throbbing. Now you’re in a room with some doctors, the keep saying things about the hospital. Next thing you know, You walk into a hospital. Security takes you and makes you say goodbye to your parents. You realize you are leaving everything you know. You get searched. You get put into a room with someone. They introduce themselves. That’s your roommate. They have cuts and stitches all over their neck and arms. Suddenly you’re terrified as you realize they tried to kill themselves like that. You start to wonder if everything you originally thought was worth it at the time. Should I really have taken all those pills? Did I really need to make those cuts? Was my life that bad? You want to run. But now, you’re stuck.
This is what suicide did to me.

With that, I want you to know that,
I believe in happiness, never being truly alone, and love.

First, I want to tell you about my happiness. Before my Dad died, I found happiness in every aspect of my life. After he died it slowly went downhill. I noticed other people’s happiness changing around me. It seemed inevitable. In the hospital I learned that you need to find happiness in the small things. All the time. My happiness changed from laughing with best friends, movies, sleepovers, and video games. To coloring books, daily phone calls home, and watching Alvin and the Chipmunks for good behavior. That’s happiness in the psych ward. Sitting in a room with 4 other people, no one touching, watching a movie rated PG and having our nightly snack and medicine run. That was our idea of a good time. My life drastically changed when I left the hospital. I love life. I love seeing other people happy. And I love being happy.

-Never being truly alone
I always thought I was alone, and I realized that I have friends, and family who love me.  There are strangers around you that 100% truly care about you. Most of you don’t know me, but I am there for you. And you always have God. I never really believed in God until one day we had a “Rap with the Chap” session. The hospital Chaplain came in and had 1 on 1 time with us. He told me that it is okay to need alone time. It’s okay to grieve. But it is never okay to push people away. Especially when you need them the most. He opened my eyes to God and showed me that even in our darkest, most alone times, God is always there.

You know the song, “All You Need Is Love” by the Beatles? I think they were on to something. Whether you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, children, best friend or pet; you always have love by your side. I believe in loving, and loving with your whole heart. Why love someone or something just a little bit? If you know me, you know I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I will put everyone, even strangers, above myself. And who has a love for us greater than we know? God. He will never back down, he will always love you.

With all that said, I believe with Happiness, Never truly being alone, and love,
we can significantly increase enjoyment with life and never get in the position I was once in.
You will be okay, things change, and things truly will get better!
 Nothing is ever worth hurting yourself, or worse.

Don’t let yourself become a statistic. You are so much more than that.

(scroll to bottom and turn music off to hear this song!)

xoxo Meghan


Brittany said...

thank you for sharing this story! I too have had 'suicidal' thoughts when i became depressed for the first time in my life, 5 years ago! you are brave! :) and i am SO glad we are blogger friends!

p.s. i really like that song by ten ave north! also like their' by your side' yup yup!


bonbon said...

I just found your blog through My Adventures Through Mommyhood. So glad I did! Suicide is such a tough subject- so hard to talk about and udnerstand. I teach high school and at a neighboring high school there were two suicides last week. It has rocked the community... so hard to understand. Thanks so much for posting this.

new follower :)

Meghan said...

Brittany, Tenth Avenue North played at my college(I go to a christian university) last fall and ohhhhhhh myyy was it great! Thanks for commenting! So happy to have you as a bloggy friend too <3


Meghan said...

Thank you for stopping by and following! I am going to check out your blog once I'm done with this comment :)

Suicide is tough, I am hoping once I start teach I won't have to worry about it being in younger grades. I can't imagine how you feel. <3


Ashlee said...

My dear best friend,
I read this quickly through the first time, and just now went back through and read it with tears streaming down my face. This is all so real to me. Suicide is not something to joke about. That week, that car ride, that first phone call, broke my heart. I thank God everyday that i said i loved you that night, I thank God everyday for that pastor in the psych ward I thank God everyday that he allowed you to have another chance at this crazy life. I thank him for giving me my best friend back. I do not know what i would have done without you. I am so in love with the fact you are better now. & i know times get rough but you always pull through. You love with your whole heart and smile bigger than anyone i know. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. i love you meghan, and i am always touched my your story, your journey has just begun. I love you <3

Becca said...

Hi Meghan,
I'm a newer follower of yours. Thanks for being willing to share this. That's really cool you did it for your speech class as well. My pastor just gave the message on suicide today in church. Two women spoke before it about how their sons had died to suicide. Though it was over 10 years ago, they are both still grieving, yet relying on God to get them through. Indeed, His love is so great that He sent us a Savior. What an amazing God. He is able to carry us through any hardships and give our lives meaning. :)
P.S. That is a good song. :)

Meghan said...

God is so good! :)

Thanks for following Becca!