Monday, March 12, 2012

**Guest Post** Stephanie

Today I am having Stephanie post for me! If you follow me on facebook or twitter, you know I have some things going on right now that aren't allowing me to spend as much time on my blog as I would like. I appreciate my friends in the blog world helping me out. <3
I found Stephanie shortly after I miscarried when I was desperately trying to find someone who understands how it feels to lose your baby. She is such an amazing person, and Silas is a beautiful baby boy. I encourage you to go to her blog and see what she has to offer :) 

Hey loves! Meghan has asked me to post a guest post and I'm so excited to join you all! This is a post that I posted when I first started up my blog and I think it's a pretty important post. For those of you who have lost children or you are dealing with someone who has lost a child (it's not easy - sometimes I can't deal with myself!), this may make it a little easier. I send you all my thoughts and many hugs!

After losing Silas.... scratch that. I went into labor with Silas at 26 weeks and 6 days. From that moment, I had people supporting me. Sending me prayers and well wishes. Always waiting on the edge of their seat for updates or sending me something to make me smile while I lived my life in the NICU, still sore from my c-section. Then came the dreaded status update, I'll never forget it. "Baby Silas passed away this morning in Mommy & Daddy's arms." No one expected it because I had been updating about how well he was doing. We didn't expect it until that phone call at 5:10 in the morning that something was going wrong, that my baby wasn't breathing well at all.
From that moment, I got hundreds (and I mean hundreds) of comments on facebook from friends and family and SO much love on twitter from all of my online friends. A facebook page was started in memory of Silas for family and friends to comment on specifically for us. Though not as active, it is still going and I still get loving comments on it or I post on it from time to time.
All of this support. All on my online friends. They are what have gotten me through. They were and are still supporting me and asking me how I'm doing, daily. I have made so many friends on twitter that make me smile on a daily basis. If I'm really down or having a panic attack, it's all a tweet away and I will get 10 tweets to cheer me up or to help me through my panic attack. From these people, so far away! Some of them live in Canada, Hawaii, Florida.. they are states away and they are my bridge. They hold me up on a daily basis. If you are on twitter, you can tweet with the hashtag #PPDChat and there are hundreds of women on there dealing with child loss or post partum depression.  You are not alone. And you do not have to lose a child to be dealing with ppd. Get help.

You cannot get through childloss without support. A lot of you are lucky to have family to support you. Let them support you. It hurts like hell. No one knows what to say. You are going to want to be alone. But you are NOT alone. I got and still get messages from family or tweets from other moms that have lost children. It really gives you hope because for a long time, you don't think things are going to get better. I'm on the edge of hoping things are going to get better still to this day. And if no one else is, I am here for you.
With medication, I am feeling much better than I was a few months ago, or even a month ago. Without medication? I would be in a mental hospital. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH GETTING HELP.
Please never, ever hesitate to email me or tweet me on twitter if you need support. Not only for childloss, but for anything. I am here to listen and I will talk to you. If you have questions about what happened with either my son or my miscarriage or anything, you are more than welcome to ask me anything. I know people are afraid to hurt my feelings, but you won't. I'm an open book and I am here to share my story. I am not ashamed of my son or my baby journey. I love talking about my kids!
I will write more specifically about grief in another post because that is a huge, huge post in itself. I am still grieving my son and I am definitely still grieving my miscarriage. I am still receiving so much support to get better for both things. I am loved.

xoxox, Stephine :)

1 comment:

Brittany said...

it's sad to hear about losing your baby. I think you are so brave for telling your story stephanie! and what a precious family pic! you are def loved! Just from this guest post, i can tell you have a big heart! I haven't had any children of my own yet, but i have struggled with depressions and anxiety, so i can relate to you on that. sending hugs!