Wednesday, February 20, 2013

It never changes

Press Play on that little sucker,
and then continue reading :)

When I was younger, my Dad died,
8 days after I turned 11, I didn't really know how to handle it.
It messed me up for years.

Anytime I got sad, for any reason,
my mind always went to my Dad,
and the sadness grew.

So what did I do?
Bottle it up.
Keep on going.
Stick a smile on my face.

Eventually it blew up in my face,
bad choices led to me wanting to end my life,
[you can read about it here and here]
and I started to learn that sometimes you have to let it out.

Do you have a specific song that gets you every time?
The song above gets me no matter what.
But now, everything leads me to my dad,
and my daughter.

Something I never thought I would say.
My Dad and my daughter are both in heaven.
Both looking down on me.

I'm happy he is with her,
but I'm miserable that they both aren't with me.

I'm learning to let things out, 
don't let it all build up until I see no way out.

And you help with that.
You read my posts,
you comment, 
you spread encouragement through social media,
you build relationships,
you give me reason.

Thank you.

1 comment:

criticalcrass said...

damien rice's the blower's daughter. rachel yamagata's elephants. a fine frenzy's ashes and wine, almost lover. ingrid michaelson's the chain.