I most certainly have.
I have made so many mistakes in life, and I'm only 20.
I wouldn't go back and change any though.
My senior year in High School I got wrapped up in a world I never thought possible.
I did stupid things, so many stupid things.
Horrible, harmful things.
I hit rock bottom.
It just hit me, I woke up one morning wondering what the point of waking up was?
Why should I go to school?
I have no friends left.
Why should I leave my room?
My family has no love for me.
Why should I talk to my boyfriend?
Surely he doesn't love me.
The whole world was resting on my shoulders and not on person cared.
On the happiest night I had in what seemed like years,
I decided it was time.
It just so happened I was with a group of friends and we were out of town.
I took a bunch of pills.
I continued ice skating the night away.
I was finally free, that huge weight on my shoulders?
I had an amazing night.
I remember getting in the car.
Middle of the backseat. Safe and Snug.
I remember eating lemonheads.
But where did they come from?
I remember listening to music.
My heart was racing.
I remember my friends yelling at me.
I couldn't sit up.
I remember the look of panic on her face.
Why can't I stop laughing?
I remember the anger and hurt in her eyes.
I couldn't say I love you.
I woke up the next morning in my living room.
Glasses no where to be found ( I'm nearly blind people!)
I went in my room panicking, found my boyfriend passed out on the couch.
I begged him to tell me what was going on.
Where am I? What happened? How did I get home?
He had no answers.
How did he have no answers?
My room was a mess...
What happened last night?
I called my best friend.
She was furious.
She was sad.
She was scared.
She told me my boyfriend carried me inside.
Asked me what I took...I had no idea!
Filled in the pieces as best as she could.
I went to a Psychiatric Facility 2 days later.
I stayed for a week.
My life changed for the better.
I am so thankful I have a best friend who will always stand by my side,
even when I do so many wrongs.
I'm thankful for a family who didn't want to see me go, but knew I needed help they could no longer give me.
I'm thankful for said boyfriend taking that as his hint to leave, I'm who I am because you ruined me.
But I don't regret you.
I don't regret my choices.
I don't regret that night.
I have not done any drugs, drank, self mutilated,
thought about suicide, or given up hope since that night.
I am so strong.
I will always be there for you.
I can get through
a n y t h i n g.