Life is complicated...

I have been debating this blog post since October. This is probably one of the hardest things I have done. Writing these words, my heart is breaking. I chose to write this in a public place, a place where I cannot let myself have a panic attack, a place where I must remain calm. At least on the outside.

In October, I had a miscarriage. At home. Alone. Not many people knew I had found out I was pregnant. I was not ready to tell people yet, by the time I was comfortable with it, I lost my baby. I never found out the sex, but in my heart I knew it was a girl. I named her, Isobel Arjana. I bought her clothes, shoes, a blanket. I keep them all hidden away in a bag. I've been meaning to buy a box and make her a memorial box, I am crafty enough and by all means she deserves it. But I never did, no excuses. Every time I go look at the boxes at our craft store I get sad and leave.

Last Thursday, someone I went to High School with(she is still very young) had her twin boys 15 weeks early. My heart broke when I found out one little boy only made it 12 hours. On Saturday, the other one left this world to be with his brother. I will not say their names out of respect and privacy, but I cannot begin to imagine what she is going through right now.

I decided that now is the time to make my little Izzy's memorial box, and since I will already be there, I am going to get her one too. I am not her friend. We do not personally know each other. But she deserves this. Her little boys deserve this. Our mothers work together, and I will give it to her. I will share my story with her while I give her something to hold onto, and maybe one day she can share hers with a heartbroken mommy who needs someone.

She is a mommy. She has two angel babies watching her from above. I hate when people tell me that I am not a mother. I am a mommy, and always will be. She is incredibly strong, and I hope by reaching out to her, I can make a difference. Even if it the tiniest different in her life.


Today I leave you very heavy hearted, Please pray for her heart to heal, and for anyone you know who has lost a child too soon. <3

xoxo, Meghan

DIY Christmas Ornaments part 2

After I made my girly ornaments for my friend Becka, I had decided that I should make one for another friend at cookie bake, Bennett.

His loves? Green Day, Guitars, The Browns, and Art, and WWE. Honestly it didn't give me a lot to work with, so I chose the Browns.

For his I used 2 orange colors, and brown, and crinkled them up! Unfortunately no glitter in this one ;) And wrote his name on it. He loved it!

-Meghan xoxo

DIY Christmas Ornaments

I know this is a late post, but hey, it is better late than never!

I have a "Cookie Bake" every year a bit before Christmas. I invite 10-20 people over, and everyone brings $10 or a few ingredients I tell them beforehand, a container, and a secret santa present(partner previously determined of course).
We then spend a good 6 or 7 hours snacking, baking, and creating lots of snacks. This year I baked about 100 saltdough ornaments before the party, and I bought paint and glitter and ribbons and people had make&take ornaments. It was a huge hit! :D

For my Secret Santa, I was with a friend Becka. We are new friends, and don't know too much about each other. I was having a tough time finding something for her, and the limit is $10. I didn't wanna be that person who buys the generic gift set! I got to thinking, and two things she really loves are Twilight, and Taylor Swift.

I went and bought clear glass bulbs and decided to make her some ornaments :)

Her daughter just turned one, and it was an emotional time for her, so I played on the words from "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift (Mom's, if you haven't heard this one, go grab a tissue and youtube it!)

I'm going to be honest, I'm not as creative as I wish I could be, and figuring out how to make a Taylor Swift ornament was NOT an easy task. In the End I took blue and purple scrap paper I had, and cut it into different lengths and widths and crinkle folded it. I am sure that is not an actual term, but that's what I did! And I added some glitter(mind you, when I say some, I really mean half a tube!). On the outside I wrote "Never Grow Up <3 " And tied it with a cute little ribbon :) She also got this ornament :

With this one, I took 2 shades of red, and black scraps and crinkled them. Added some more glitter and wrote "And the lion fell in love with the lamb".

On top of these 2 presents, I had a friend who is a graphic design major make her a custom Taylor Swift collage, and I got her some Sweet Pea body wash from Bath&Body!

The presents & cookie bake were a huge success!!

Until next time,
Meghan xoxo

I'm Blank Because...

Found this on Rags To Stitches and HAD to repost after seeing it multiple times!

I'm weird because...
I often break out in song.
I refuse to pay full price on anything, I am actually rather cheap!
At the end of most books, I am legitimately sad, and feel like I lost someone close.
When I like a song, I will have it on repeat until I can no longer stand it.
I may not be a Christian, but I love my Jesus music <3
Even though I will soon have a nook, I still buy books.
I have an OBSESSION with babies and children. Need a babysitter? :)

I'm a bad friend because...
I'm horrible at calling and texting back.
I can't do small talk.
I write crappy thank you cards (if i even get around to it!).
Since I don't drive, I rarely show up to events.

I'm a good friend because...
I would give up my life for you.
I will shower you with gifts.
I'm honest.
You can always depend on me.
If you have a kid(or 2 or 3) you will always have me for help!
I will be there in the blink of an eye if you need me.

I'm sad because...
My Grandpa is getting a pacemaker put in.
I'm going to miss a couple of my professors.
Babies don't deserve to die I miss my job in CT.
Snow is coming.

I'm happy because...
I have an amazing family, and boyfriend!
I am surrounded by amazing friends who love me.
My Annual Cookie Bake is coming up.
The semester is over.
My almost 80yr old Grandpa.

I'm excited for...
Cookie Bake.
Time off.
Shopping.
Celebrations of Christmas(first one tomorrow!)
Finals almost being over.
Surprise Date Night with the boy; he will never read this!